You're engaged! Why isn't it any fun?
You’re engaged! Congratulations! Are you feeling totally overwhelmed already?
If you dove straight in to planning mode and didn’t take any time to just be happy and excited, then go do that now. Seriously! Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Go enjoy yourselves for awhile!
Did that? Ok great. It is so easy to start feeling overwhelmed when you start planning your wedding. Were you having fun planning in your head or on your secret Pinterest board before you got engaged? I know that I did. It becomes a little less fun once you start to figure out how much everything actually costs.
Speaking of costs, why don’t vendor websites include their pricing? Even just ballpark numbers would help! Your food/flowers/photos look fantastic Vendor but are we talking $500, $1,000, or $10,000 good?
What Do You Need To Get Married?
The Internet in general can lead you right down the path of overwhelm. Have you downloaded one of those planning checklists only to realize that you’re already behind? Obviously you needed to order your custom-made gown as a child. Plus, Pinterest. Ah Pinterest. So lovely, so fun, so easy to slip down the slide to wanting ALL the things. Or worse, feeling like you NEED to have them to get married.
Here’s what you need to get married:
- Your fiancé
- An officiant (unless you're in a state like PA where you can self-officiate)
- A marriage license (only if you want it to be legal, which not everyone does or can)
That’s it! Everything else is a decision that may or may not be important. Worry about the important ones and take my permission to deal with the non-important ones as much or as little as you feel like or even let them go entirely.
Everything Cannot Be Important!
How can you tell if something is an important decision? Well, first of all, does it matter to you because it is something you and/or fiancé really truly care about? Then its important! The second category of importance is things that matter to you because a friend or loved one really cares about it. The key here is to determine if you and fiancé don’t care about it is whether you really want them to have it. If so, then its important!
Are there things that currently matter to you because you think someone expects it? Where is that expectation coming from? Really think about that. Are you just worried about what they’ll think? That’s fine, but deep down is what they’ll think important to you? If so, then consider it important if you really truly care about what they think.
A TON of wedding planning stress comes from the friction between what you and fiancé want and what the rest of your friends and family want and expect. Sometimes those are explicit expectations and somethings it is just your own fears about what they’ll think.
The Bottom Line
When it comes down to it, the people you’ll want at your wedding are those people who love you and are excited to celebrate with you. Your people. People who are going to nitpick things will nitpick anything you do so don’t plan it for them. Plan your wedding for yourselves and those people. It is a day that is all about you and fiancé, but it is also important to be a good host to your people. Once you make your goal to plan a wedding that is all about you and fiancé and providing a great time for your people, you may still feel stressed but at least that stress will be focused.