They laughed when we said we wanted a Star Trek-themed wedding. But then they all had the best time!
When you think of a wedding, what do you see? When you imagine your wedding, what do you see?
Do you see yourself in a gorgeous white gown in a church and surrounded by everyone you know? In a cute little dress, birdcage veil, with just you and your fiancé at City Hall? Wearing flip flops on the beach with a couple of your closest friends? Up in the mountains wearing jeans and hiking boots with your fiancé and officiant?
Any of those things is possible and all of them are equally valid weddings! Wedding planning occurs in this weird space in your mind where there are all the things you think you should want and all of the things that you actually want. In all of those thoughts swirling around in your head, do your best to regularly check that you are planning what it is that you and your fiancé actually want.
How can you get clear on what you want?
The best thing to do is to think about how you want your wedding to feel. When I asked you above to imagine your wedding, what did it feel like? Joyful, playful, bursting with love, or just plain fun?
Once you get clear on how you want it to feel, it becomes easier to check in on any decision you make. Do you want it to feel fun and fun to you means a dance party going late into the night? Then that venue you’re considering that makes you clean up and leave by sundown isn’t right for you. If you want it to be bursting with love but your guest list is filling up with people you aren’t really close with, then perhaps you want to rethink that list.
What if you want something “weird”?
Say you have no desire to do the whole white dress in a big venue with dinner and dancing thing. You’d rather be surrounded by a few really close family members and friends. Maybe you even want to wear *gasp* jeans. It is 100% ok to want that! It’s also 100% ok if you want a big poofy white dress, a rose petal-lined aisle, and 300 guests! You and your fiancé want what you want! That may not match up with the vision that other people *cough your mother cough* want for your wedding, but as long as you are a good host to the people who you invite to your wedding, it is totally totally totally fine for it to be the wedding that you and your fiancé want.
As someone who had the Klingon marriage ceremony recited at her own wedding, I know what it is like to want something that others might consider to be odd at your wedding. Come wedding day, everyone just had a fantastic time. If they thought anything was weird, I certainly didn’t hear about it! You see, most people who attend a wedding - especially one that is totally personalized to the couple - can’t help but get caught up in the fun. So it is definitely worth it to embrace your own special version of weird!