Raise your hand if wedding planning is stressing you out. Between finding vendors, deciding who to invite, figuring out how to pay for it all, the expectations of your friends and family, and the sheer number of items added to your to do list, planning a wedding can be totally overwhelming.
Did you notice anything missing from that list though? Are you worried about being the center of attention, talking to everyone, and just generally being “on” all day? How about reaching out to vendors, negotiating contracts, and coordinating details with a lot of people? You may think you have to just push through it because that’s what weddings are about and there’s nothing you can do about it. But is that really true? (Hint: no)
The Challenges Of Planning A Wedding As An Introvert
Let’s start with defining introversion and look at how it impacts the planning process.
One main difference between introverts and extroverts is the amount of external stimulation they prefer. Alone time or one-on-one time with a close friend is best for an introvert, while groups and new activities are best for an extrovert.
As an introvert, you may seem to live most of your life in your head (listening, reading, playing games) while your extroverted friends live life out loud (talking, meeting people, always out doing things). You may both be out at a bar having a great time when they’re ready to go check out a band playing down the street while you’re ready to go home and curl up in your pajamas. Socializing likely makes you feel tired but it energizes them.
Now, when it comes time to plan your wedding, you’ll likely be dealing with a lot of new people. Vendors you’ll need to hire. Friends and family of your fiancé who you’ve never met before. There may also be a lot more activity in your life than normal with all the appointments you’ll have, completely new things to learn about and see, and decisions to make. All of this can quickly add up to you being overstimulated and exhausted. Luckily, there are things you can do to prevent and deal with any exhaustion.
Introverted Wedding Planning Strategies
Start by thinking about which parts of the planning process are causing you the most stress. Naming the source of the problem is the first step because it allows you to seek out the solutions you need. All the help and advice in the world is useless if its solving the wrong problem. Then, depending on the exact nature of the problem, use the strategies below that will help you the most.
During the planning process, take breaks so you can recharge. Scheduling appointments back to back may be efficient but it can also be exhausting. Think about whether you’d prefer to knock them all out at once and schedule a quiet day the next day or spread those appointments out over days or weeks so that you can recharge in between. Then when you do get a break, do whatever it is you do to recharge like read a book, play a game, or binge on Netflix Even 10 minutes in your car between appointments could help. Schedule in and take advantage of whoever breaks you can.
Hire A Wedding Planner
If you’re totally overwhelmed by the number of people you need to deal with, you may also want to consider hiring a wedding planner. They can be your main point of contact and then they’ll deal with all your vendors on your behalf. Interacting with someone one-on-one instead of a flood of different people can be a lot easier to handle.
Play To Your Strengths
Finally, consider how you work best. Do you prefer to talk in person, on the phone, or through email? If you hate the phone, is Skype preferable? If meeting people in person is stressful for you, try to only work with vendors who are willing to make most arrangements by phone, Skype, or email, whichever you like best. Or if you hate talking on the phone seek out vendors via their website and email them. Yes, this will limit your options. But if a vendor will only work with people in person or on the phone, maybe they aren’t the right vendor for you.
You may eventually have to work with someone using a communication method you don’t like. There may not be other options in your area or someone’s work may be worth it for you to communicate with their preferred method. But the more you can do using your preferred method, the less stressed you’ll be.
When you do have to call someone (or whatever method you hate), try to just get it over with. The longer it sits undone on your to do list, the longer you have to dwell on it, which ultimately just adds to the stress.
Planning a wedding can be difficult and stressful for anyone. But being an introvert adds a whole new layer to that stress. Recognizing that means that you can develop strategies for actually dealing with it instead of resigning yourself to grin and bear it.
Determining how you work best and potentially outsourcing the things you struggle with can go a long way toward making the wedding planning process easier. But that’s only the first part of the equation.
There is another set of challenges to deal with on your wedding day. Regardless of how excited and happy you are, being “on” and the center of attention all day may exhaust you. We’ll work through strategies for dealing with that next, so subscribe below so you don’t miss out.