There are so many ways to express your personality in your wedding and music is no exception. Plus, music can literally be used to entertain your guests. It sets the tone for your wedding, so it is worth considering your options.
Unless you’re having a tiny wedding where you know all of your guests really well (including that their musical taste match yours), consider mixing it up a bit. For example, if you and your fiancé are totally into metal music, by all means, include it! Some people might think that metal and weddings don’t mix, but it is your wedding. That being said, 100% metal the entire wedding might be a bit much for some of your guests, so take opportunities to include some other music for the sake of being good hosts. That applies regardless of the type of music you choose, so don’t think I’m juts picking on metal!
If you want to include music your guests love, feel free to ask them for song suggestions. You can reach out one-on-one or even just include a line on your RSVP cards like these.
Finally, live music and DJs are one of those wedding things where you may have friends who do that as a career or side gig. Don’t just assume that they’ll provide the service for you. Ask them! Attending a wedding as a vendor is different than attending as a guest, even if they’re your friend. So tell them you love their work and would love for them to do it at your wedding but totally understand if they’d prefer to attend as a guest. And then respect their decision. Also, if this is something they usually get paid for, plan on paying them their usual rate unless they absolutely insist otherwise. Your friendship is important so don’t risk it by possibly making them feel you’re taking advantage of it.
Before diving in, know that you don’t have to have ANY music if you don’t want to. And if you do want music but don’t care that much, don’t stress yourself out about it. If you’re interested in seeing how to create a personality-driven music plan, read on.
You have a few options for the source of your wedding music that you can mi and match depending on the moments you’re planning. These options are live music, hiring a DJ, or using a pre-made playlist on a device.
Some of the individual moments you might consider are:
Live music, whether for a specific moment or throughout the wedding provides an excellent opportunity for showing off your personality. If you or your fiancé are in a band, why not perform a song a la Hep Alien on Gilmore Girls? Or consider incorporating your heritage like my sister-in-law did when surprising my brother with a bagpiper as she walked down the aisle. Trust me, those make for amazing moments for your guests to experience!
Live music can also be totally low-key and meaningful. For example, my uncle is a pianist so he played beautiful music as guest arrived and took their seats before walking my cousin down the aisle.
If you and your fiancé love going to the symphony, see if you can hire a few musicians to play during the ceremony. Or a live band for the reception if you both love to dance in a specific style. Or if you love show tunes at a supper club like my friends, hire your favorite performers to perform a few numbers during the reception. Take what you love and see if you can work it into your live music choices.
Hiring a wedding DJ can be a great way to outsource music if you want it but don’t want to worry too much about the details. It is also a great option if you really want your guests to dance. A great DJ can read the energy of the room and select songs to kick things up a notch and get people on the dance floor.
Wedding DJs may also emcee the wedding so guests know when specific moments like cutting the cake are happening. If they’ll be emceeing, you can also get them on board with who you want to give toasts and avoid opening toasts up to the floor if you don’t want that.
You can work in your personality with a DJ too. If dancing is important to you, a DJ might be your best choice. If your wedding has a theme, see if you can find a DJ who is game to dress up or perform in character that fits your theme. And of course, you can get your DJ to play the type of music or specific songs you love.
Selecting your own music can be as simple as hitting shuffle on your own music or playing your favorite Pandora channel or as complicated as separate playlists you’ve organized in order of the specific moments you have planned. You can use your own music or pay for something like Spotify, Apple Music, or Amazon Prime Music.
If you’re creating your own playlist to match specific moments of your wedding, I suggest finding someone to be in charge of the device you’ll use so they can make sure the right song plays at the right moment. A way to make that easy is to create a different playlist for each moment. So separate playlists for pre-ceremony background, your fiancé’s entrance, family entrance, wedding party entrance, your entrance, exit, cocktail hour, reception background, etc. Then everything is queued up to just hit play when the next moment is beginning.
Here are a few hard-earned tips from weddings I’ve attended who used this type of music:
The best part about a prepared playlist is that you can pick exactly what you want to hear for each moment. This gives you a great opportunity to express your personality and reflect any theme that your wedding may have. Your entrance music can be anything and some of the best I’ve seen completely reflect the personality of the person walking down the aisle. One friend walked down the aisle to the theme from Top Gun. If you knew her, you knew she was obsessed with that movie. It made total sense even though it doesn’t seem very wedding-like. My husband walked down the aisle to 2001: A Space Odyssey, which set the tone for our mostly Star Trek but generally sci-fi inspired wedding. I’ll never forget the laughter and excitement of our guests as he walked in to it. One of the early things we bonded over in our relationship was that we both grew up with the Chevy Chase vacation movies so we decided to walk back up the aisle as husband and wife to the Holiday Road song.
If you’re having a holiday or theme wedding, you likely have easy choices for songs to include. Our Star Trek wedding took place on the 4th of July so we included quite a few patriotic songs, but you could include theme songs from the movie or tv show you’re theme is based on or other holiday music that fits.
Also think about songs that your guests will love. What did you and your friends listen to in high school? Every group seems to have that one song that can bring them back to their past. Try working that in! Maybe try playing songs from your parents’ or grandparents’ generation, or better yet, how about playing something they remember playing at their wedding? It can be a lot of fun to DIY wedding music when you start trying to
Also include your favorite songs or songs that are meaningful to you and your fiancé. Think about “your song” if you have one or songs that make you think of each other. Include your favorites even if they aren’t necessarily “wedding appropriate.”
Whatever type of music you choose (or not!), your wedding should reflect who you both are. That makes weddings extra meaningful and memorable. Music just provides you one more opportunity to do this.
Before you go, save this post to Pinterest in case you want to refer back to it as you make your wedding music decisions.
Signature cocktails have been a fun wedding idea for years now with drinks like the Mint To Be Mojito. There is even a Wedding Bingo square for it! For the bride planning a nerdy wedding, the signature cocktail provides the perfect opportunity to work the theme into the details.
Some themes provide ready-made cocktail ideas. A Harry Potter wedding is calling for butterbeer or pumpkin juice. And what would a Star Trek wedding be without some Romulan Ale? Well, it would be like the one my husband and I had because I didn’t think of this in time, but I digress.
You can start brainstorming your signature drink in a few ways. Does your theme include a specific beverage like Harry Potter or Star Trek? If so, you could find or create a recipe to mimic that drink or even just apply the name to something you were already planning to serve. For example, you could make Romulan Ale labels or a sign for the beer you were planning to serve.
Do you or your fiancé already have a favorite drink? You could name it after anything from your theme. Think about the color, ingredients, or overall appearance. Does that suggest anything from your theme? If not, you could name it after anything from your theme. Think character names, memorable elements, noteworthy scenes, etc.
What is your favorite thing from your theme? Name a drink after that. Does it suggest a type of drink in either color or ingredients? If you’re having a Doctor Who wedding and your favorite thing is his sonic screwdriver, try shaking up a traditional screwdriver recipe with an additional ingredient (maybe pineapple juice?) to make it “sonic.”
I’ve been collecting nerdy themed cocktail ideas on Pinterest. You’ll also find boards for all sorts of theme wedding ideas including Star Trek, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Doctor Who, comic book, Disney, Lego, and video games. Don’t see your theme represented? Send me an email at Jennifer@littlehammergames.com and let me know. I’d love to help you brainstorm ideas for your nerdy wedding!
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays (costumes and a theme, what’s not to love?) so my husband and I throw an annual Halloween party. Pinterest is a key tool for me when planning the party each year, so I thought it’d be fun to show you how I use Pinterest to plan. It’s a great tool for planning any event, including weddings! You can find all sorts of wedding planning ideas on the Littlehammer Games Pinterest account.
My first step is to pick a theme. I’ve always wanted to throw an “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” party and decided to run with it this year. I'll be dressing up as Charlie Brown in his ghost costume with all the holes in it and I can't wait!
If you don’t have a theme in mind, run a search for “Halloween party” on Pinterest and start pinning things that grab your attention. After you have a lot of things pinned, scroll through them and look for commonalities. Are you pinning spooky, creepy things or ideas with a little more campy fun? Do a bunch of your pins come from a particular movie, tv show, or book? Any of those could point you towards a theme. For our first annual party, I noticed that most things I pinned were orange, yellow, and white so I made candy corn the theme.
Another way to pick a theme is to consider what you want your costume to be. You could create a whole theme around that. My Wednesday Adams costume last year called for an Addams Family theme so I went for it.
Once you have a theme, step 2 is to pick decor that fits the theme. Run a search in Pinterest for that theme. For example, I searched “Great Pumpkin party.” Be broad at this point and pin anything you like the looks of to a new board. If you really like something specific but the instructions are hard to follow (a tutorial on making candles appear to be dripping blood, for example), look at the “more like this” pins that appear below it. There may be similar tutorials with clearer instructions. You can also click the small icon in the corner of the pin (top right corner on desktop, bottom right corner on mobile) to run a visual search for similar items. If you aren’t having any luck, then try searching “DIY bloody candle” in this example. This should get you a bunch of other results and hopefully you’ll find better instructions.
Once I have a bunch of decorating ideas, I like to work on the menu. Since I like to have everything on theme, even the food, I searched “Great Pumpkin party” again and this time focused on the food ideas. As with the decorations search, its helpful to pin multiple variations of an idea. One of the memorable moments from Its the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown comes when Linus jumps into a pile of leaves but forgot he was holding a sucker. I really wanted to find a menu option that references that scene. The first idea I found was pretty complicated, but I pinned it to keep in mind and kept searching for related ideas. I came across one that was much simpler to make and still looked great, so I'm going with that one.
After collecting all these ideas, I go back through the board to pick my favorites and piece them together. The reason I don’t pick anything right away as I’m searching is that it might not fit into the overall plan at the end. For example, I may have decided right away to set up bobbing for apples but then have every other idea take place in the scenes at the pumpkin patch. Bobbing for apples might not fit very well. By gathering a ton of ideas up front then piecing them together at the end, you can make sure they all work together.
Sometimes it makes sense to combine ideas. I came across a baked Brie pumpkin recipe that looked amazing, but I didn't love the recipe and wasn't sure how best to serve it. So I searched for more baked Brie recipes and found one for bite size pieces with Brie and cranberries that looks delicious. So I've decided to use the technique for making them pumpkin shaped from the first recipe combined with the cranberry recipe to make bite-sized pumpkin-shaped cranberry baked Brie.
At this point, I find it most helpful to create a new board with my final choices. For a bigger event like a wedding, separate boards for decor, food, etc can help. Since a Halloween party is smaller, 1 board works for me. When all your final choices are pinned, you can start making lists of the supplies you need for decorations and DIY projects as well as ingredients for the recipes you chose. Then its time to put your plan into effect and host your awesome party!
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After months of dreaming and planning, your wedding is one day. Every decision can seem so important that it's easy to get stuck. If Wedding Bingo is right for you, I want it to be an easy decision. So I've gathered up a list of questions I've heard that you might have.
Wedding Bingo was created for you if you want to do something a little different at your wedding. It's for you if your looking to inject your personality into all the details of your big day. It's especially for you if you and your fiancé love playing games and want to entertain your guests. If you regularly host game night, then Wedding Bingo will fit right in with how your guests envision your wedding.
Nope! Everyone plays Wedding Bingo by paying attention to everything happening around them. If you see or hear something that appears on your card, then you get that square. So if you have “flask sighting” on your card and see someone with a flask, flip your card over, grab a sticker, and place it on that square!
That's up to you. You can pass it out with your programs before the ceremony, put a card at each place setting, or have a stack of cards at the bar or buffet line for guests to pick up if they want to play. Since Wedding Bingo is a completely new type of wedding game, it can be helpful to your guests to make a quick announcement about how to play or designate someone to walk around the reception explaining the rules to guests.
5 squares in a row (vertical, horizontal, or diagonal) wins! Just like regular Bingo. You can encourage your guests to call out Bingo! when they win or ask that they take their card to a designated person (like the bartender).
That's up to you! It could be anything from bragging rights to a movie gift card to one of your lovely centerpieces. Or how about the winner gets dinner with you and your new spouse (!!!) when you get back from your honeymoon?
Just like everything else at a wedding, you'll never please everyone. Lots of guests will love it though! It's a great source of entertainment while you and your new spouse are off taking pictures. It gives the introverted guests something to focus on and shy guests will have an easy source of material for small talk with guests they don't know. If you're having a dance floor, it's fun to play while taking a dance break or can entertain your guests who don't dance.
You pick the number of cards you want and order Custom Wedding Bingo. On the day you place your order, you'll receive an email asking you to confirm the names you want to appear on the cards, the color of the text you want for the Wedding Bingo title and LOVE center square, and the text you want for up to 10 squares that will reappear throughout the cards. Each square is limited to 50 characters so keep your squares short but descriptive so your guests know what you mean.
I cannot start to customize your game until I receive your responses, so please respond to this email as soon as possible! It may take up to 4 weeks for me to customize your game, have it printed, attach the stickers, and send it to you so be sure to respond in plenty of time.
Do you have any other questions or concerns? Email me at jennifer@littlehammergames.com and I'll respond as soon as I can! I want this to be an easy choice and process for you so you can get on to the fun parts of your wedding!
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Over the past 2 weeks I’ve been talking about a major source of wedding planning stress: the friction between what you and your fiancé want your wedding to be and the expectations of everyone else. I’ve proposed that you should focus on 2 guiding principles to deal with this friction:
I wrote about some ideas for how to do that in this blog post that you should check out if you haven’t already.
Ultimately I think the solution is to entertain your guests in a way that reflects you. There are many ways to entertain your guests at a wedding ranging from providing a comfortable space for guests to eat and chat to having a dance floor to bringing in a performance. The possibilities are endless! Because of this, the best way to determine how you’ll entertain your guests is to think about which option is most comfortable to you and which one shows your personality.
What if we are low-key?
Some brides and grooms want a totally low-key wedding. For them, food and a nice space for guests to chat is enough. If this is you, do not feel like you need to do anything extra! You don’t need to have a dance floor or any elaborate thing to entertain your guests. They are there to love and celebrate you and if this low-key reception matches who you are, it will make total sense to them.
Dancing
It seems like most weddings these days have a ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, and dancing formula. For some, this is absolutely perfect. If you and your fiancé love to dance it out, regularly go to dance clubs with friends, or enjoy being the center of attention a dance floor can be the best option. A dance floor is also extra fun when there is a traditional dance important in your culture.
Games
Games are another great option, particularly if you don’t want to be the center of attention or don’t like to dance. Games can be either outdoor or indoor, like Wedding Bingo. The beauty of games as entertainment is that they can provide lots of options for your guests and encourage them to interact in a structured way. As an introvert, this type of entertainment is fantastic for me! It gives me something to focus on and an easy start to a conversation with someone I don’t know. If you and your fiancé host regular game nights or love carnival games, consider games as a source of entertainment.
Performance
One other option that I’d love to see used more often is a performance. We went to a wedding that had the waiters perform show tunes throughout the night. It was fantastic! And totally fit the couple! Just think of the possibilities. If you are theater people, how about writing and performing a short scene depicting how you met? Or if you're into belly dancing, what about you or a friend you dance with putting on a show? You could go old-school Full House style and be like Uncle Jesse singing to Rebecca during their reception.
Mix and Match
Remember, all of these ideas are mix and match! Just because you have a dance floor doesn’t mean you can’t also have games. The wedding we went to with the show tunes also had a playlist and guests dancing late into the night. Options can be great for your guests because not everyone will like the same thing. But if your choice of entertainment reflects your personality, your guests won’t be able to help getting caught up in your enjoyment. Entertaining your guests in a way that reflects you is the perfect way to achieve your perfect wedding.
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What kind of wedding do you and your fiancé want? What kind of wedding does everyone around you expect you to have? Do they line up or, as is often the case, are they conflicting visions? Conflicting visions are a huge source of wedding planning stress, so how can you deal with them? You can try and find a balance between the two, but it is very difficult to wing it. Thinking through some principles to guide your decisions ahead of time can help you keep that balance in mind.
What are the ultimate goals you have for your wedding? Think back to how you want your wedding to feel. As you do this, think about your guests as well. How do you want them to feel or what do you want them to experience on your wedding day? Those two questions will lead you to your guiding principles.
As a starting point, I suggest your guiding principles be:
Think about what you and your fiancé are really like at your core. Your wedding is not the time to be something that you’re not deep down. Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior says, “One’s wedding should be a heightened version of one’s best social life, not an occasion for people to play grand and unfamiliar parts in a fantasy play.” So think about what your social life looks like. What do you like to do with your friends? How do you like to entertain? What type of events are you most comfortable attending? That is the perfect jumping off point for planning your wedding.
We have friends who are extremely social and always have something going on with friends. They are the center of their social circle, hosting a regular game night and always up for entertaining guests from out of town. One of their favorite places was a supper club - a restaurant where the waiters perform musical numbers throughout the night - in their hometown, which sadly has now closed down. When it was open though, they regularly went there. They knew everyone who worked there and it was the place they took everyone who was visiting from out of town. We live in a different city and went there twice with them!
When we received the invitation to their wedding, it was not at all surprising that it would be held at the supper club. They had a very large wedding and rented out the entire restaurant. Their favorite waiter performed as the emcee all night and everyone else who worked there performed their favorite songs throughout the night. The wedding simply oozed their personality and was one of the most fun weddings I’ve ever attended. I consider us lucky that we attended their wedding before planning our own because they really set the bar for what was possible at a wedding.
After attending the supper club wedding, my now-husband and I knew we could do practically anything we wanted for our wedding and had a goal to make it completely reflect our personalities. Unlike those friends, my husband and I are homebodies. We often prefer to host our own events and have people come to us than to go out somewhere else. We’ve hosted BBQs, brunches, and an annual Halloween party. Our friends and families were scattered all over the country, and even a couple in a different country, so we really wanted a venue that would stand out as an example of whatever city we were in. After narrowing it down to a couple, the one that made the most sense was to host the wedding in my parents’ beautiful backyard in Oregon. That fit with our homebody nature. Add in some BBQ from a fantastic restaurant in town and we were set. The only thing left to do was to add in more details that reflected us.
Early in our relationship, my husband and I bonded over our love of Star Trek. That became the perfect thing to weave into the day. We started from the beginning with the design and phrasing of our invitations and RSVP cards. Guests were invited to “beam me up!” or “I just can’t do it, Captain” to indicate whether they would attend or not. We had two of our best friends perform the ceremony as our officiants and one of them performed an epic recitation of the Klingon origin story during the ceremony. There were also our replicated (3D printed) Star Trek uniform cake toppers modeled from our pictures. He’s the captain, I’m a science officer because let’s face it, TOS tricorders are really cute. Plus, I look better in blue and nobody wants to be a redshirt on their wedding day.
How do you spend time with friends and family? What kind of parties do you throw? What are the things that make you and your fiancé who you are? Those are the best places to start when planning a wedding that truly reflects you. Try to work those things in throughout the wedding in both big and small ways. Making your wedding reflect your personality is the best way to avoid the cookie cutter wedding. As a guest, attending a unique wedding that from beginning to end is completely indicative of who the couple is can be one of the most wonderful weddings to attend. So why not make it all about you?
As mentioned above though, this is only the first guiding principle. Making your wedding totally a reflection of you and your fiancé is a great first step, but the balance comes in when you do so with the intention of also being a great host.
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What is it about wearing an engagement ring that makes everyone want to give you advice about planning a wedding? I've never been pregnant, but from what my friends have gone through, pregnancy has the same issue. Sure, your friends and family are (hopefully!) happy and excited for you but my guess is that you still like to talk about other things and would ask for advice if you wanted it. Don't even get me started on strangers at the gym, the grocery store cashier, or people in line with you at Costco! Everyone feels the need to put in their two cents.
It can be a never ending stream of advice and expectations. Planning a wedding that is even slightly “non-traditional” (setting aside the fact that so many of those things aren't even traditional anyway) can make it that much worse. Throw in complicated family dynamics and you've got a recipe for frustration.
Seriously, just check out some of the advice and expectations I've seen or heard! Take special note of how contradictory some of them can be. And feel free to share more over on the Littlehammer Games Facebook page.
From strangers and the internet:
From your family:
From your friends:
So, the question becomes how can you deal with this onslaught? I think two phrases can make your life a little easier. “Thanks, we’ll think about it” can help quickly wrap up a conversation or lead to a switch in topics. The person you're talking to doesn't have to know that you'll only give it one second of thought.
The second phrase helps when you want to escape all the questions someone is asking you or when dealing with someone who will never be satisfied with your decisions (you know who this person is if they're in your life!). To these people, cheerfully respond, “it's a surprise!”
Them: What kind of dress are you wearing?
You: It's a surprise! (Particularly useful if your answer would otherwise be something like your favorite cosplay, jeans, or anything other than a long white dress)
Them: I hope you're getting top shelf liquor for your reception since I don't drink well vodka.
You: It's a surprise!
That will at least help you out in the conversations. The real next step is to find a way to balance what you want your wedding to be like and the expectations from others that you do care about. My suggestion is that you figure out a way to entertain your guests (i.e. be a good hostess) in a way that reflects you and your fiancé.
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Introverts tend to “work more slowly and deliberately” according to Susan Cain in her book, Quiet. That’s certainly true for me. I tend to do a deep dive into research before making a decision. So I thought it’d be helpful to hear what fellow introverts have to say about Wedding Bingo.
Kelly, a self-described “extreme introvert” said, “it made for a fun afternoon of people watching and trying to spot things going on so I could win.”
Emily, who called Wedding Bingo “the most awesome idea ever” said “it’s a hilarious and entertaining way to get yourself through a wedding and reception - - especially if you’re an introvert like me.”
Jack said, “it gave me something to do that was engaged with the wedding. Otherwise, as an antisocial person, I would have remained hidden in the corner looking at my phone.”
That’s all great for the introverts like us, but other people will probably be at your wedding too. The beauty of Wedding Bingo is that all kinds of people love to play!
Derek’s favorite thing about Wedding Bingo was “the interaction with other people. It really made the wedding more exciting and got me talking to different people!”
Frank echoed that saying, “it added fun to the many conversations and interactions going on!”
Perhaps Justine said it best though. “Everyone, even the kids, loved it.”
Part of your wedding will involve you being the center of attention. You’ll be in front of your guests for the ceremony. It’s just you and your fiancé up there with the officiant, maybe flanked by your wedding party, and all eyes on you. For some introverts this is terrifying. Hell, the front row at our wedding was put on notice that my husband might pass out so they’d be ready if they needed to spring into action.
Then there’s the talking. All the talking. It’s your big day, so everyone will want the chance to talk to you. This may mean making small talk with people you don’t know well or lots of quick chats instead of the deep conversations you may prefer. This can be exhausting no matter how much you love these people and appreciate them being there.
These are the extra challenges you face as an introvert on your wedding day. We’ve already looked at strategies for making the big day more manageable. One of them deserves a closer look.
As the happy couple, you are hosting your guests, which means you want to make sure they have a good time. Luckily for you, there are ways to do this that also take some of the attention off you and hopefully give you the chance to recharge your batteries a bit. Plus, its a great way to work your personality into your wedding.
The typical way to entertain your guests at a wedding is to provide a meal, drinks, and dancing. The meal and drinks often involve a lot of talking and mingling while you may get a chance for one-on-one conversation while people are dancing but there is still a ton of stimulation surrounding you. These activities are probably more comfortable for extroverts and tiring for you.
A photo booth is another fun way to entertain your guests. People can go in by themselves or with a small group and you get a ton of great pictures in return. This option is great for introverts because you can duck in there for a few moments alone if you need to, but not everyone can use the photo booth at once so you’ll likely still be “on” with your other guests.
A slightly more out of the box idea is to have some sort of performance (that you aren’t in!). Maybe you could have someone perform your favorite songs. Or your old friends could perform a dance routine or skit. Or any other kind of performance you can think of. If your wedding has a theme, think about whether the theme suggests some kind of performance. Even a karaoke machine could work as long as you don’t feel the need to perform yourself! Anything to focus the attention of all your guests for a period of time so you can just sit back and watch will work.
Finally, you can entertain your guests by providing games to play during the reception. Outdoor reception games like a ring toss of Yardzee are great options if the weather is nice and you have the space. Indoor reception games like I Spy or Wedding Bingo or even board games can be played regardless of the weather or space limitations.
Games not only give you and your guests something to focus on, but they also provide an easy topic of conversation.
You know how when everyone is on the dance floor and you’re off sitting alone watching, some people assume you’re board and not having fun when that couldn’t be further from the truth? Put a game card in front of you and that assumption changes. It’s very likely that some of your guests are also introverts and will love you for this.
Providing your guests something to focus on means that all your guests will be entertained, the introverted ones will be relieved, and you’ll get a break from being “on” all day.
If you like games, you’ll love Wedding Planning Bingo. It makes the planning process more fun by poking fun and the annoying things and celebrating the wonderful things. Get your game for free by signing up below.
The love and support that surrounds you on your wedding day is so incredible that there are no words to perfectly describe it. It just envelops you. You’re walking on air. If you aren’t eloping, that amazing feeling comes with a lot of other people around. No matter how wonderful you feel, that can also be exhausting if you’re an introvert. If the thought of talking to so many people (no matter how much you love them!), being the center of attention, and feeling like you need to be “on” all day is stressing you out, you’ll want to make a plan to thrive on your wedding day.
A wedding is a big undertaking for an introvert, as either a guest or the one getting married. According to Susan Cain in her book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, “introverts and extroverts differ in the level of outside stimulation they need to function well.” An extrovert can go to a wedding, mingle and talk with almost everyone, enjoy all the activity swirling around them and leave feeling energized. They thrive off interaction and external stimulation. Meanwhile, you go and talk to people but find yourself needing to escape to a quiet place even if that means spending a little more time in the bathroom and are completely exhausted by the time you leave. You need quiet, downtime, and time to be alone to be your best. No matter how much fun you have, weddings can wear you out.
Add to that the expectation that as the happy couple you’ll circulate and talk with everyone, be the center of attention, and be “on” all day? No wonder planning this wedding is stressing you out!
Luckily for you, there are certain things that you can plan for the wedding day itself to help keep your energy up. And hopefully allow you to have an incredible time! To start, think about strategies that already help you. What do you normally do to get through events full of people? Can you adapt any of those to your wedding?
If you can’t think of any or want more, here are some additional ideas to get you started.
If you do better one-on-one than in big groups, try to find a venue that encourages people to split off into pairs or smaller groups. A venue with lots of nooks and crannies does this well and allows for more intimate conversations. Something that has both indoor and outdoor options can naturally provide this to some extent as well.
If you’re locked into a large rectangular space like a ballroom, consider ways to break up the room. Bring in screens to partition off areas or arrange furniture to encourage small groups to gather. 10 people around a round table often means big group conversations. Try smaller tables or provide small seating areas away from the dance floor. Many of your guests are likely introverts too and will appreciate your efforts!
Since entertaining lots of guests is likely to wear you out, breaks will be your friend. At the very least, take a break with your new spouse (!!) after the ceremony. Its the perfect time to take a breath, acknowledge what you just did, and come down from the stress of being up in front of everyone. Go somewhere out of sight so nobody tries to reach you or someone is guaranteed to try and come talk to you. Recruit someone to guard the door, if necessary. Your guests can mingle or appreciate any other entertainment you’ve provided.
You can also schedule a longer break between the ceremony and reception (or reception and afterparty). This option works best if you’re changing venues. Use this break to take a nap. Seriously! Factor in time to change clothes and touch up your hair and makeup, if necessary. You’ll be a much better host once you’re refreshed with a nap. Yes, long break may confuse or annoy some guests unless its a totally normal part of weddings in your culture. You can provide ideas for guests to do during the break if you’re concerned about it.
The seating chart is totally up to you so make it work for you. You can sit with your new spouse at a “sweetheart table.” This has the advantage of making guests come to you while eating, which can mean fewer people at once. Or you can sit next to people you are super comfortable with (or even people you know aren’t super chatty). Where you sit and who sits next to you can have a big impact on your interactions.
Being part of the happy couple gives you the perfect excuse to use this strategy. Everyone knows and expects you to need to make the rounds and have lots of things going on, so use that to your advantage. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or need a break, just say, “excuse me, I need to go say hi to _______” or “will you excuse me, I need to go check on _______.” Its perfectly polite - and even better than that - its expected. Excuse yourself and find a place to have a moment alone.
If a certain wedding “tradition” is stressing you out, skip it. You don’t HAVE to do a grand entrance, first dance, toasts, cake cutting, etc no matter what anyone else says. If you hate being the center of attention, cutting out those things can help.
Likewise, you can write the ceremony to be as short as you want. Or even have a private ceremony and invite guests to the reception only.
Interacting with people, especially in an unstructured way like mingling at a wedding, can be especially exhausting. Having something to focus on - like a game or performance for example - lets you and guests take a mental break from the mingling and get absorbed in something else. It also provides an easy thing to chat about with strangers. Your introverted guests will love this strategy too.
Hopefully these strategies for planning an introvert-friendly wedding day give you comfort. There are always multiple ways to achieve a goal and planning a wedding you’ll love and enjoy is no exception. So adapt these ideas to fit what works best for you.
Next up, we’ll look deeper into ideas for that last strategy - giving your guests something to focus on. Subscribe below so you don’t miss out. When you do you’ll also get Wedding Bingo - the free game we’ve developed to make the wedding planning process more fun. Just enter your name and email below.
Raise your hand if wedding planning is stressing you out. Between finding vendors, deciding who to invite, figuring out how to pay for it all, the expectations of your friends and family, and the sheer number of items added to your to do list, planning a wedding can be totally overwhelming.
Did you notice anything missing from that list though? Are you worried about being the center of attention, talking to everyone, and just generally being “on” all day? How about reaching out to vendors, negotiating contracts, and coordinating details with a lot of people? You may think you have to just push through it because that’s what weddings are about and there’s nothing you can do about it. But is that really true? (Hint: no)
Let’s start with defining introversion and look at how it impacts the planning process.
One main difference between introverts and extroverts is the amount of external stimulation they prefer. Alone time or one-on-one time with a close friend is best for an introvert, while groups and new activities are best for an extrovert.
As an introvert, you may seem to live most of your life in your head (listening, reading, playing games) while your extroverted friends live life out loud (talking, meeting people, always out doing things). You may both be out at a bar having a great time when they’re ready to go check out a band playing down the street while you’re ready to go home and curl up in your pajamas. Socializing likely makes you feel tired but it energizes them.
Now, when it comes time to plan your wedding, you’ll likely be dealing with a lot of new people. Vendors you’ll need to hire. Friends and family of your fiancé who you’ve never met before. There may also be a lot more activity in your life than normal with all the appointments you’ll have, completely new things to learn about and see, and decisions to make. All of this can quickly add up to you being overstimulated and exhausted. Luckily, there are things you can do to prevent and deal with any exhaustion.
Start by thinking about which parts of the planning process are causing you the most stress. Naming the source of the problem is the first step because it allows you to seek out the solutions you need. All the help and advice in the world is useless if its solving the wrong problem. Then, depending on the exact nature of the problem, use the strategies below that will help you the most.
During the planning process, take breaks so you can recharge. Scheduling appointments back to back may be efficient but it can also be exhausting. Think about whether you’d prefer to knock them all out at once and schedule a quiet day the next day or spread those appointments out over days or weeks so that you can recharge in between. Then when you do get a break, do whatever it is you do to recharge like read a book, play a game, or binge on Netflix Even 10 minutes in your car between appointments could help. Schedule in and take advantage of whoever breaks you can.
If you’re totally overwhelmed by the number of people you need to deal with, you may also want to consider hiring a wedding planner. They can be your main point of contact and then they’ll deal with all your vendors on your behalf. Interacting with someone one-on-one instead of a flood of different people can be a lot easier to handle.
Finally, consider how you work best. Do you prefer to talk in person, on the phone, or through email? If you hate the phone, is Skype preferable? If meeting people in person is stressful for you, try to only work with vendors who are willing to make most arrangements by phone, Skype, or email, whichever you like best. Or if you hate talking on the phone seek out vendors via their website and email them. Yes, this will limit your options. But if a vendor will only work with people in person or on the phone, maybe they aren’t the right vendor for you.
You may eventually have to work with someone using a communication method you don’t like. There may not be other options in your area or someone’s work may be worth it for you to communicate with their preferred method. But the more you can do using your preferred method, the less stressed you’ll be.
When you do have to call someone (or whatever method you hate), try to just get it over with. The longer it sits undone on your to do list, the longer you have to dwell on it, which ultimately just adds to the stress.
Planning a wedding can be difficult and stressful for anyone. But being an introvert adds a whole new layer to that stress. Recognizing that means that you can develop strategies for actually dealing with it instead of resigning yourself to grin and bear it.
Determining how you work best and potentially outsourcing the things you struggle with can go a long way toward making the wedding planning process easier. But that’s only the first part of the equation.
There is another set of challenges to deal with on your wedding day. Regardless of how excited and happy you are, being “on” and the center of attention all day may exhaust you. We’ll work through strategies for dealing with that next, so subscribe below so you don’t miss out.
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Ugh. The dreaded seating chart. The one wedding planning task that seems universally despised. Or at least thought of as annoying. Luckily for you, you may not even need one. You may be totally off the hook if you don’t want one. But if you do, there are certain strategies that will make the process a little easier. Instead of putting it off and only causing yourself more stress, read on to learn how to tackle the chart.
In many cases, no, you don’t need a seating chart. If you’re having a casual wedding you probably don’t. If you’re having a small wedding where everyone already knows each other, you can probably skip it.
Start by considering your table setup. If you’ll have 1 or 2 long tables for everyone to sit at, you should consider having a seating chart. Why? Because of the movie theater effect. You know how when people pick seats in a movie theater they tend to leave at least 1 seat between them and a stranger. If you take awhile getting popcorn you and your date may be left without 2 seats together and either have to sit separately or ask people to move down. The same thing can happen at weddings, especially if you’ll only have 1 or 2 long tables. If you’re having s bunch of separate tables though there is a lot more flexibility and you may not need a searing chart.
The other thing to consider is your food service. Are you having plated meal service with pre-selected options? If yes, it will be easier for your servers if you have a seating chart so they know where to place each dish. If you’ll be having a buffet or will allow guests to choose their meal at their table, you can skip the seating chart.
There are 2 main ways to create a seating chart: assign tables or assign seats.
If you assign tables you can make a sign with each guest’s name and table number. Put the names in alphabetical order so it’s easy to use. Or you can make escort cards with printed names and table numbers so your guests can indicate which seat they’ve taken. Assigning tables but not seats gives guests a little flexibility and can also be easier for you since you don’t have to get so specific.
Assigning seats is the most specific and labor-intensive choice. It is also the best if you’re having plated meal service with pre-made selections. With this type of seating arrangement you’ll still have the option of a sign or escort cards, but you’ll also need place cards at each seat to indicate exactly where each guest should sit.
Once you’ve decided what to assign, it’s time for the complicated part. Hopefully these tips will make it a little easier.
First of all, don’t start making your seating chart until after you’ve received all your RSVPs. Getting your seating chart perfect only to find out that most of the guests you put at a table can’t make it is a nightmare. It’s way easier to wait and do it right the first time than to scramble and fix it.
Second, decide whether you want to organize your chart digitally (using WeddingWire or AllSeated, for example) or on paper. If you want to use paper, sticky notes are the way to go so you can easily move things around. Write down each guests name on a sticky note and have a small sheet of paper for each table.
Third, categorize your guests and color code your sticky notes accordingly. This could be done according to whether they are friends or family, whether they are your guests or your fiancé’s or your parents’, or how you met them. You don’t have to actually seat guests according to their category, but it can be helpful to know.
Now it’s time to start placing people at tables. Here are some do’s and don’ts:
Once you have everyone placed where you want, save it somehow. Write it down, take a picture, etc. You don’t want to have to do it all over again!
Now you’re all set to order those pretty escort cards, place cards, or sign. And cross the seating chart off your to do list!
If you found this post useful, would you please pin it on Pinterest to help others find it?
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Since you’ve hopefully been discouraged from asking a friend to be a wedding vendor, the question becomes - well, what can I ask my friends to do for my wedding? Your friends may offer to help generally or in specific ways and you can also ask if (and how) they’d like to be involved. Here are some ideas to get you started.
The most common way to get your friends involved in your wedding is to ask them to be a bridesmaid or groomsman (or bridesman or groomswoman). This is a position of honor and they’ll literally be up front with you at the ceremony.
Members of the wedding party often provide other types of support throughout the planning process and throughout your wedding day. They may attend appointments with you to give advice and opinions, throw you a shower or bachelorette party, help you get ready on the big day, and help with set up before and clean up after the wedding.
Your wedding party takes on that role because they love and support you. Show them the same love and respect in return by taking into account how much time, effort, and money you are asking of them. Being a bridesmaid can be a huge undertaking as well as expensive. My favorite experiences as a bridesmaid were when the bride knew and respected my time and financial limitations and were truly grateful for any of my help.
One of my favorite things about my wedding was that my best friend and my husband’s best friend officiated it together. It was so meaningful to have them marry us that its a wonder we didn’t bawl through the entire ceremony! Plus, since only one person can sign the marriage license as the officiant, we had a fun game of rock, paper, scissors (lizard, Spock) to determine who signed as the officiant and who signed as a witness.
Getting ordained online is easy but writing the ceremony can be difficult. Before asking them to officiate, figure out how much (if any) you want them to be involved with writing the ceremony. That way they know exactly what they are saying yes to. The best thing about having a friend officiate is that they now you so well, which means you can work together to get a super meaningful ceremony script.
Another tried and true method for involving a friend in the wedding is to have them perform a wedding. You can let them pick what to read or request something specific. At our wedding, we had people we were close to from school and work read specific passages that evoked both love and our time together as friends. Its a great way to work in your personality and honor your friendship in the ceremony.
If you aren’t having a wedding party, you might think that you won’t get to have a bridal shower or bachelorette party. But that’s probably not the case! You may not be able to throw your own bridal shower because it could look like a rude gift grab, but if someone offers to throw you one you can graciously let them. You can organize your own bachelorette party, but if your friends are anything like mine, they’ll take over.
Your friends may be disappointed that you aren’t having a wedding party, but they’ll likely still want to be involved in the fun stuff like showers and bachelorette parties.
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If the December holidays are engagement season, then January is the start of wedding planning season. One piece of advice that always seems to pop up is thinking about people you know with special skills that could help you out. Danger! Danger! Be careful with this advice. There are things you should seriously consider before approaching anyone you know for help. Remember that you'd like these people to continue to be your friends long after the wedding!
Weddings in my family have always been an all hands on deck sort of event. Some siblings are uncharge of picking up ice and running last minute errands, others are tasked with set up and decorating, and everyone helps with cleanup. We're all on board to help (and assume that we will need to) but we all still appreciate being asked to do so and then being genuinely thanked for our help.
The same thing goes for members of the wedding party in my experience. So often bridesmaids are brought in to help with a lot of tasks. Many times they are happy to help! A genuine please and thank you still goes a long way.
All of that probably makes sense to you. Its common sense and the polite thing to do after all! Things get a little more complicated when dealing with a friend who is also a wedding vendor.
If you have a friend who has a wedding business (or side gig) you might be thinking, perfect! I'd caution you to consider 2 things though: your relationship and the money.
A friend serving as your wedding vendor may not get to experience your wedding in the way that either of you hope for. If they are baking your cake or designing your invitations or doing something else that largely happens before the wedding, this may be less of a concern. But having a friend be your photographer, DJ, or anything else that happens on the big day will change things. Suddenly, instead offing a guest focused on enjoying your day, they are working. They might enjoy working it more than another wedding because they know you so well, but they won't enjoy the wedding in the same way they would if they were just a guest. With this in mind, it is worth asking your friend if they'd be open to providing the service or if they'd rather attend as a guest. And being fine with either answer.
The other friendship consideration is how you'll handle it if your friend isn't doing the work to your standards. Or if your friend gets upset with how you are treating them. Even if no money changes hands, you're taking a friendship and turning it into a business relationship. Understand that it changes things and be really sure that you want to take that step and are ready to deal with what that means.
Does your friend normally get paid for what you're asking them for? If yes, go into your request expecting to pay them their normal fee. A lot of the advice out there says that getting friends to help is a great way to save money. But what saves you money will literally be costing your friend money through their time, materials, and the opportunity costs that come from providing the product or service for you instead of to a paying customer. Yes, it is possible that they'll give you a discount or do it for free. But don't start with that assumption. Assume you'll pay full price unless they insist otherwise. Don't try to hire them because it will save you money. Do it because you love their work!
A friend of mine has a side business as a wedding photographer and she suggests getting a contract with your vendors, especially if they are a friend. The contract will clearly lay out all expectations so you are all on the same page. Plus, it protects you both if something unfortunately goes wrong.
The only way to totally avoid changing your friendship is to invite your friends to your wedding as guests. If you absolutely love their work and want it as part of your wedding, proceed carefully. Make it clear that they can say no, get all expectations out in the open (in a contract), and pay and treat them well so you'll continue being friends for a long, long time.
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Do you like to people watch? Sometimes at weddings I just love to sit back and watch the people around me mingling, dancing, or ducking into the photo booth. I’m just off in my own head watching everything happening around me and taking it all in. It’s a way for me to have a nice time but keep a little distance because, as an introvert, engaging in all the activity and talking to lots of people makes me really tired. The very thought of it makes me want to go curl up on the couch with a book, even if it’s the wedding of someone I love. People watching is a way to give myself a bit of a break.
If you’re an introvert, I’m sure you’ve experienced this. You’re sitting there people watching and someone approaches you assuming you’re bored or not having a good time. But they’re wrong! You were totally enjoying yourself, although now you’re enjoying yourself a bit less since you feel like you need to be “happy and upbeat” for this person.
In some situations, having a book in your hand can prevent someone like this from approaching you. But that’s not really appropriate for a wedding. Wedding Bingo is the perfect solution. People watching becomes a game because you’re on the lookout for the specific things on your card. Plus you look like you’re doing something so people are less likely to think you’re bored and approach you. And if they do, at least it gives you something to chat about if they decide to hang around.
Wedding Bingo entertains your guests, gives you an excuse to take a break, and takes some of the focus off of you. It is tailor made for an introvert’s wedding.
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When you think of a wedding, what do you see? When you imagine your wedding, what do you see?
Do you see yourself in a gorgeous white gown in a church and surrounded by everyone you know? In a cute little dress, birdcage veil, with just you and your fiancé at City Hall? Wearing flip flops on the beach with a couple of your closest friends? Up in the mountains wearing jeans and hiking boots with your fiancé and officiant?
Any of those things is possible and all of them are equally valid weddings! Wedding planning occurs in this weird space in your mind where there are all the things you think you should want and all of the things that you actually want. In all of those thoughts swirling around in your head, do your best to regularly check that you are planning what it is that you and your fiancé actually want.
The best thing to do is to think about how you want your wedding to feel. When I asked you above to imagine your wedding, what did it feel like? Joyful, playful, bursting with love, or just plain fun?
Once you get clear on how you want it to feel, it becomes easier to check in on any decision you make. Do you want it to feel fun and fun to you means a dance party going late into the night? Then that venue you’re considering that makes you clean up and leave by sundown isn’t right for you. If you want it to be bursting with love but your guest list is filling up with people you aren’t really close with, then perhaps you want to rethink that list.
Say you have no desire to do the whole white dress in a big venue with dinner and dancing thing. You’d rather be surrounded by a few really close family members and friends. Maybe you even want to wear *gasp* jeans. It is 100% ok to want that! It’s also 100% ok if you want a big poofy white dress, a rose petal-lined aisle, and 300 guests! You and your fiancé want what you want! That may not match up with the vision that other people *cough your mother cough* want for your wedding, but as long as you are a good host to the people who you invite to your wedding, it is totally totally totally fine for it to be the wedding that you and your fiancé want.
As someone who had the Klingon marriage ceremony recited at her own wedding, I know what it is like to want something that others might consider to be odd at your wedding. Come wedding day, everyone just had a fantastic time. If they thought anything was weird, I certainly didn’t hear about it! You see, most people who attend a wedding - especially one that is totally personalized to the couple - can’t help but get caught up in the fun. So it is definitely worth it to embrace your own special version of weird!
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You’re engaged! Congratulations! Are you feeling totally overwhelmed already?
If you dove straight in to planning mode and didn’t take any time to just be happy and excited, then go do that now. Seriously! Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Go enjoy yourselves for awhile!
Did that? Ok great. It is so easy to start feeling overwhelmed when you start planning your wedding. Were you having fun planning in your head or on your secret Pinterest board before you got engaged? I know that I did. It becomes a little less fun once you start to figure out how much everything actually costs.
Speaking of costs, why don’t vendor websites include their pricing? Even just ballpark numbers would help! Your food/flowers/photos look fantastic Ms. Vendor but are we talking $500, $1,000, or $10,000 good?
The Internet in general can lead you right down the path of overwhelm. Have you downloaded one of those planning checklists only to realize that you’re already behind? Obviously you needed to order your custom-made gown as a child. Plus, Pinterest. Ah Pinterest. So lovely, so fun, so easy to slip down the slide to wanting ALL the things. Or worse, feeling like you NEED to have them to get married.
Here’s what you need to get married:
That’s it! Everything else is a decision that may or may not be important. Worry about the important ones and take my permission to deal with the non-important ones as much or as little as you feel like or even let them go entirely.
How can you tell if something is an important decision? Well, first of all, does it matter to you because it is something you and/or fiancé really truly care about? Then its important! The second category of importance is things that matter to you because a friend or loved one really cares about it. The key here is to determine if you and fiancé don’t care about it is whether you really want them to have it. If so, then its important!
Are there things that currently matter to you because you think someone expects it? Where is that expectation coming from? Really think about that. Are you just worried about what they’ll think? That’s fine, but deep down is what they’ll think important to you? If so, then consider it important if you really truly care about what they think.
A TON of wedding planning stress comes from the friction between what you and fiancé want and what the rest of your friends and family want and expect. Sometimes those are explicit expectations and somethings it is just your own fears about what they’ll think.
When it comes down to it, the people you’ll want at your wedding are those people who love you and are excited to celebrate with you. Your people. People who are going to nitpick things will nitpick anything you do so don’t plan it for them. Plan your wedding for yourselves and those people. It is a day that is all about you and fiancé, but it is also important to be a good host to your people. Once you make your goal to plan a wedding that is all about you and fiancé and providing a great time for your people, you may still feel stressed but at least that stress will be focused.
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Bride’s side or groom’s side? Unless I’ve been asked that question and then escorted to a seat, I’ve never been able to remember which side is which. Plus, what are you supposed to do if you’re close with both the bride and the groom? I tend to sit near someone I know who is already seated or wherever there are a few open seats somewhere in the middle. I actually just looked it up and Google says that the bride’s side is on the left and the groom’s side is on the right, except in Jewish ceremonies where it is the opposite.
Luckily for people like me who can’t seem to remember that info, open seating for wedding ceremonies has become increasingly popular. Lots of weddings have signs instructing guests to sit where they wish and I thought I’d gather up some of my favorites. The signs have become so popular that they've earned their very own Wedding Bingo square.
This sign CreationBay has a festive design. It would be lovely for an evening wedding that takes place outside with twinkle lights strung overhead. Because it is black and white, it would fit nicely with many color palettes.
This floral sign by RedRoseDigital is perfect if your other paper choices like invitations have been floral. This is one of my favorite ways to word the sign because I consider many friends to be family. It would also be perfect for small, intimate ceremonies.
Alexandcoprintables has designed this sign, which can be used for both the ceremony and an open-seating reception. The black and white sign would easily fit in with any style wedding.
The chalkboard trend is still going strong. This sign from LolasDesignLoft is right on trend and is the only sign on this list that you buy as a physical product. Everything is done for you so all you need to do is set it up.
Pink and gold were our wedding colors, so I’ll always love the color scheme of this sign by WordItOut. The saying on this sign is cute and broader than the others that say “family” since not everyone speaks that way about their friends.
Here’s another chalkboard option, this time a printable one from PaperPigeonDesigns. I love the wording on this one since marriage really is about 2 people coming together to create 1 new family. And like some of the others, this wording is appropriate for any couple since it doesn’t say “bride” or “groom.”
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Unity candle ceremonies are one of those things that I'd thought were a result of the Pinterest-ification of weddings. That is, until I remembered that my cousin did one at her wedding when I was a kid - well before Pinterest even existed. Its common enough, that unity candle ceremonies and their variations have a square on Wedding Bingo.
In case you've never seen one, a unity candle ceremony takes place during a wedding ceremony and is physical act performed as a symbolic representation of 2 people coming together as 1. The Happy Couple each lights a candle (or has it lit by their parents) and then comes together to use those flames to light a third - the unity candle.
One thing that I think has come about due to Pinterest and the internet more generally is a variety of unity ceremonies that have spun off from the candle idea. Here are some of those variations:
One of the most popular alternatives is the sand ceremony. Instead of candles, you and your fiancé pour different colors of sand into a vase or shadow box, like this one from TheDreamWeddingShop. The individual colors of sand represent each of you as individuals coming together to form a new combined unit. In another twist, that sand can be poured into an hourglass to further represent the 2 coming together as 1 over time.
Unity In Glass has created something I've never seen before, and I think it's a much nicer keepsake than a candle. Instead of pouring sand, you and your fiancé pour glass crystals of various colors into a container. After the wedding, you send the collection back to the company where an artist blows the glass into a sculpture, vase, or bowl.
Similar to the sand ceremony, you each brings a small jar of paint in different colors. Then each of you pour the paint down the front of a canvas and the paint colors mix and drop down the front. The result is a colorful keepsake. A decal like this one from LivelyLettering can be attached the the canvas before painting and then removed so the decal area remains white.
In this variation, you each pour a cup of soil from your homes (or childhood homes) into a planter and add a seed or tree sapling. The plant then grows from the combined soil, like your love. This planter pot from KnoxPotsCompany would be perfect because you can add your new family name and the year of your wedding.
In this unity ceremony, you and your fiancé each write a love letter and place it and a bottle of wine in a box like this one from RedHeartCreations. During the ceremony you hammer nails in together (or close a lock together) to seal the box. The box then serves as a time capsule to be opened and enjoyed on an anniversary (or during a rough patch).
The funniest variation has to be this unity sandwich. Each layer of the sandwich represents a different part of marriage - bread as the foundation, Colby jack cheese as the families coming together, lettuce pulled from the head as their shared dreams, etc. The couple put it together then took a bite!
While each of the ceremonies above involve only you and your fiancé and sometimes your parents, there are a few ceremonies that include guests.
This puzzle variation by PalmettoEngraving is great for weddings when the couple has kids. The couple’s names and the names of each kid are put on a puzzle piece. During the ceremony each person places their puzzle piece until the puzzle is completed. It symbolizes an entire family coming together as one.
This one is my personal favorite because it involves all your guests and instead of a separate keepsake, you just use your wedding rings. During the ceremony, the rings are passed among the guests. As each guest holds them, they make a wish for your happiness. You then exchanges the rings as usual, but they've been infused with each guest’s well wishes.
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One of the best ways to entertain your wedding guests is to offer activities other than dancing. Your guests who don't dance will thank you and entertaining everyone means your guests will stay and have a great time longer than they otherwise would. If you're looking for a great game to play inside, check out Wedding Bingo. Here's a collection of games that are perfect for an outdoor wedding this summer.
Lots of different games can be played with these giant lawn dice from RH2Creations. My favorite game is Yahtzee (or “Yardzee”) with cards like these ones from StonePointWoodwork.
This is a great choice for games that more than 1 or 2 people can play at a time.
This is a popular choice to DIY, but if that seems like too much work, this one available from TumblingTimbers looks like a great choice. Everyone will want to play after they hear it all come tumbling down. Customize it with your new family name and wedding date.
A cute on-theme game is the Ring Toss. This one from TheDutchGoldfinch is customizable so it will perfectly match your decor. It would also be great at a bridal shower so make sure to get it in time to use it twice!
The game that everyone knows but always seems to end in a tie is available as a lawn game. Like the Ring Toss, this Tic Tac Toe game from WildYouthLLC can be customized. Try swapping the traditional X and O for your family’s initials.
No collection of outdoor wedding games would be complete without Cornhole (aka the bean bag toss). Cornhole boards are endlessly customizable, like these ones from CustomYardGames. This game will be a hit at your wedding and family BBQs for years to come.
If you don't have the space for outdoor games, check out these indoor wedding reception games. For more ideas like these, follow out my Wedding Reception Games board on Pinterest.
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I’m a huge fan of weddings that truly show who the couple really is. There’s something magical about being part of an event that feels totally like them. Before my husband and I got married, we attended a friend’s wedding that really raised the bar for me when it comes to weddings truly reflecting the couple. Every detail was just them, if you know what I mean. You probably could have plopped me down in the middle of it with no knowledge of who was getting married and in just a few minutes I would have known it was them. Luckily we attended that wedding before planning our own so I knew what I wanted to aim for!
When you start trying to make your wedding reflect you as a couple, the possibilities are endless. An easy way to do this is to break out of the ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner and dancing formula by providing other activities for your guests. Here are 5 ideas that don't require any extra space to play.
This game is perfect if you and your fiancé love being the center of attention. You'll need someone to read the questions, 2 chairs facing back to back, and your shoes (of course). Exchange 1 shoe with your new spouse (!) so you both have 1 of each then sit in the chairs facing away from each other. As each question is asked, hold up the shoe that matches the answer. So if you're asked which of you always falls asleep first and you think it is you, raise your own shoe. The questions and whether you're on the same page with your spouse can be sweet or funny. You can write your own questions, find question ideas here, or get these Guess Who game cards from ElinaWedding so your guests can play along with you.
This game is great for capturing extra pictures from your reception, especially if you have a wedding hashtag! Your guests get this list of things to snap pics of and share with the hashtag. Its also easy to use to entertain kids at the reception. These printable cards from AcetiDesignCo would be perfect to leave at each place setting or on each table.
Wedding Bingo is my favorite, but I'm biased since I created it! Each guest gets a card full of items they might see during the ceremony and reception. Cards are divided into categories - ceremony, food & drink, people, wardrobe & decor, and reception - and each card has stickers attached to the back to mark off squares. Your guests will be totally into looking for all the details of the day you worked so hard on so they have a better chance to win Wedding Bingo. Plus, this is a game you can play too without being the center of attention! You can buy Wedding Bingo here.
This is a cute spinoff from tapping on a glass to get you and your new spouse (!) to kiss. Leave these on your tables to encourage guests to do things like serenade you or give a sweet toast. When they perform an item from the menu, you lovebirds give each other a kiss. Check out this printable Kissing Menu from BlissPaperBoutique.
Do you remember doing mad libs as a kid? I loved them! You choose words blindly based on the part of speech requested without knowing how they'll fit into the story. Then you plug those words into the story to see what you wrote. The resulting stories can be hilarious. This activity is great because guests can play solo or fill out the cards as a group. Plus, you can collect them as a guest book. These wed-lib cards can be downloaded for free from Something Turquoise.
For more ideas, make sure you're following my Wedding Reception Games board on Pinterest!
No matter how carefully you plan your wedding, you can't control every moment. Kids are the best example of this. Your adorable 4-year old niece who has always been a perfect angel? She might be so excited about her frilly dress that she can't stop spinning circles down the aisle during your ceremony. Your best friend’s 3-year old son who loves everyone and is always hamming it up? Yup, you just know he'll be overcome by shyness when it's his turn to walk down the aisle. My nephew Keegan (pictured above) has done this and wound up being carried down the aisle by my sister-in-law while hiding his face.
I call this “going rogue” and it happens so frequently that there had to be a rogue flower girl/ring bearer square on Wedding Bingo. I like to think that Wedding Bingo makes this something to laugh about rather than stress over. It brings some guests 1 step closer to getting Bingo!
I've taken a few trips down the aisle as a flower girl myself. I still remember the twirly dress, how the fabric felt between my fingers, and the awesome bow I got to wear for my aunt’s wedding when I was little. I also remember my grandmother summoning me to her side before I had a chance to go rogue.
What's the funniest thing you've seen a kid do during a wedding? Use #littlehammer on Instagram to show me!
This post first appeared on the Littlehammer Games email list. Have you joined yet?
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Most people (everyone?) knows how to play Bingo. 5 in a row wins! There are a couple of things to know about the rules of Wedding Bingo though.
First, instead of someone calling out numbers, you get to mark off squares based on what you see or hear happening throughout the wedding. Wedding Bingo is all about paying attention to what's going on around you. You won't get the “someone cries while giving a toast” square if you aren't paying attention. The Happy Couple will be touched that you noticed all the details of the day they worked so hard to prepare.
Hands down though, the most important rule is to let things happen naturally. There are both great squares (delicious food) and terrible squares (police are called) for Wedding Bingo. Please, please, please don't start a fight and call the police just to get those squares! The Happy Couple would kill you (and me!) if you ruin their big day. Just be yourself and have fun. When in doubt, think to yourself, “is this something I'd do if I weren't playing Wedding Bingo?” If it is, then you're in the clear! Would you normally do shots at a wedding? If yes, go for it regardless of whether you have that square. Remember how important their wedding day is to the Happy Couple and act accordingly!
You can buy Wedding Bingo here!
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Wedding Bingo is now available! I'm so excited to share this game with you today. After launching exclusively to my email list (have you joined yet?) Wedding Bingo is now available in the shop (or on Etsy if you prefer to shop there).
Five different game sets are available: 10-card, 25-card, 50-card, 75-card, and 100-card sets. If you're attending a wedding where you won't know many people, the 10-card set is perfect to play with your date and table mates or small group that you do know.
The 25-card set is great for the wedding of your high school or college friend. Get the old crew together to play!
If you're getting married, the 50, 75, or 100-card set is for you. Pass cards out with your programs or include one on each place setting. Trust me, your guests who don't like to dance will thank you for providing an alternative to the dance floor and everyone will want to stay and party all night. Larger set sizes will be released soon!
Each card in the set comes with gold dot stickers attached to the back so you can mark off your squares without even needing to put your signature cocktail down. Each set comes in a dark gray folder tied with a hot pink ribbon to keep everything in place. Opening the game even feels like opening a present. Fun from the very first step!
And because I think that marriage equality should have always been a thing, each set comes in versions for 2 brides or 2 grooms as well as bride/groom couples.
If you play, use #littlehammergames on Instagram and I might feature you there or here on the blog! I'd love to hear what you think of the game!
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Update: It's here!
We are less than 1 week away from the launch of Wedding Bingo! If you're planning a wedding and have been looking for the best way to entertain your guests, you're in luck! No more worrying about whether your guests who don't dance will get bored and leave early. Nobody will want to leave while they still have a chance of getting bingo!
When the flower girl goes rogue and starts spinning circles in the aisle or the ring bearer takes off screaming, it won't just be a cute story to tell when toasting at their wedding years from now. It will bring some guests 1 step closer to winning bingo. Ok, ok it'll still be a cute anecdote for that toast too.
Your parents and in-laws arguing over where you'll spend Thanksgiving every year isn't just the cause of that headache starting behind your right eye. It's also the reason for a small smile if you have that square on your Wedding Bingo card.
Wedding Bingo provides reason to celebrate the good (delicious food!), endure the bad (that Thanksgiving argument), and get a kick out of the cliche (that one Corinthians verse everyone includes). And since love is in the air, everyone will get that center square. All your guests will have fun and stay as long as possible so they don't miss a moment. They'll pay attention to every detail of your big day.
On August 1st, Wedding Bingo will finally be up for sale! The original run of the game will come in 10, 25, 50, 75, or 100-Card sets. And since love wins, there are versions for Bride/Groom, 2 Bride, and 2 Groom weddings. Each card measures 4” x 6” and has gold dot stickers attached for marking off the squares so it is easy to carry around while holding your signature cocktail.
There will be limited quantities for sale on August 1st. The mailing list gets the first shot at purchasing before they sell out, so make sure you're on the list. You can sign up here!
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Update: Wedding Bingo is now available!
One of the great things about having multiple sisters getting married is that I have lots of beta testers. The inaugural test run of Wedding Bingo took place at my sister Kelly’s wedding. She’s the one who inspired it all. It was a great chance to get some feedback that I’ve incorporated into the final product and see how people played the game.
Wedding Bingo only has a few rules, but one of them is that you’re supposed to let things happen naturally. No calling the police to get that square, ok?! The Happy Couple would never forgive me! Well, it turns out that in this first game, a wedding crasher (of sorts) actually won the game by crashing the wedding.
Let me back up. You see, my sister Lauren and I both live far away from our hometown so every time we are in town we try to see as many people as possible. For her, that always includes seeing her in-laws. They are awesome, fun people and are always welcome at our family events, so even though they weren’t technically invited to the wedding in advance they came with the full support of the bride.
Near the end of the reception, Lauren’s father-in-law realized that he had crashed the wedding - which was the last square he needed for the win! He also got the “Flask sighting” square because he brought his own. Since he couldn’t have known those things would be on his card and they happened naturally, he didn’t violate any rules.
So that is how a wedding crasher won the very first round of Wedding Bingo.
This story first appeared on the Littlehammer Games email list. For more behind-the-scenes stories like this and to be the first to know when games are available, sign up for the list here.
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